Ever since Lonzo Ball and the UCLA Bruins got bounced from the NCAA Tournament last weekend, the world has been dog-piling on the Ball family patriarch. First, LaVar was forced to weather a furious tweet-storm on Friday night for brazenly and incorrectly predicting that his son’s team would win the Tournament.
Then, a grainy video from 2002 emerged of him playing in a rec league basketball game, and let’s just say that his self-proclaimed hoops prowess may have been exaggerated a bit, surprise surprise. The internet followed that up with an anecdote about him trying out for an NFL team and the subsequent impression he left on everyone, proving once and for all that he was just as disproportionately cocky and arrogant then as he is now.
But the world isn’t through with LaVar Ball yet, not by a long-shot. (He’s already a meme too.) Because of his absurd declaration that he would’ve beaten Michael Jordan in a game of one-on-one in the prime of his career, we, like others before us, decided to put it to the test via NBA2k, and the results, while not pretty, were thoroughly vindicating. Behold:
Although LaVar managed to manufacture a few points here and there, Jordan won decisively the first time around. But just to be sure, we ran it back a few times, and the results were always gratifyingly the same, just like these stills of MJ destroying LaVar.
Michael Jordan, of course, is Michael Jordan and therefore properly rated as such. LaVar’s rating was befitting of a player who averaged 2.2 points per game for his career, probably generously so. Just as in the real-life video of LaVar, the simulations also had their share of low-lights:
Please enjoy responsibility. Kicking a blowhard like LaVar while he’s down keeps making us feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but with his eldest son entering the NBA Draft this summer and a pair of five-star recruits still gestating in his home, there’s likely to be karmic retribution as LaVar’s 15 minutes of fame is probably just getting started.